dinner with officemates again. last week it was a japanese restaurant. tonight, it was mediterranean and it was a treat for a japanese member of the international sales team who was in town for a visit. i didn't want to go because i was feeling a bit tired but i figured my social skills would matter when they have me evaluated for my job in about two months from now, so i decided to go.

mediterranean food was ok. i was never the adventurous type when it comes to tasting food so i never had any inkling of how the food would taste, except for shawarma but which we didn't order. food was ok. some of them i liked. the others i didn't that i had to drink plenty of water to drown the awful taste. come to think of it, the pita bread and the eggplant hummus were the only food that i actually liked. dinner was mixed with intelligent conversations ranging from films (a debate on brokeback mountain), travel, media, politics and culture. the highlight of the dinner was my officemates proposing a toast for me and my boss commending my work as 'very impressive actually' (in her cute French accent).

after finishing dinner at 11:30, we decided to hit one of the most popular bars in town and go dancing. the last time i remember dancing in a bar was december 2004 (that long!!! i had an entry of that here in my blog) and raj was away too. dancing is therapeutic to me. i've always resorted to it when raj is away. raj was in pinas when we went clubbing in japan. meds and i went to limits once when raj was away for a business trip. and, tonight is no different. there we were dancing the night away until the bar closed at 1:30am (hey, this is a small town!) it was fun, i enjoyed swaying my body to the beat of this generation's music but there was a voice inside me that said i no longer belong to the dancefloor. not because i feel too old to be in hip places but because my priorities have changed over time.

going back from the gimmick was one of the hardest 'coming home' moments i've had. after spending about two hours in a place cramped with people and with blaring sounds all over, the quiet and emptiness of the house greeted me. and that was when i realized that i would rather have the silence of the night with the company of raj than all the food and the dancing i had; that i would never trade the sound of his voice to the upbeat music that brings out the dancer in me; that there is nothing more therapeutic than telling him how my day went. tonight of all nights, i miss raj so terribly -- and, was the first time dancing has let me down.