the ironies of great american dream:

my officemate was born in New York and sometime later in his younger years, moved to Malta where his parents were originally from. when he was old enough to decide for himself, he forfeited his american citizenship to enjoy the full benefits of being a maltese national. alas! he met and fell in love with a smart and pretty american girl and went through all the rigors of becoming a naturalized american citizen when he married her.

and as alanis would have sung, isn't it ironic, don't you think?

i got my green card when i was 17 years old. i could have been a citizen now had i decided to stay continuously, but i had been blinded by the ideals of my youth that i decided to return to my home country instead. the irony of it all is that this one thing that i denied in the past is the very same thing that i eagerly want to have now. truth is, i would go and kiss bush's ass, literally and figuratively, if that would make me a naturalized american citizen.

but before all you filipino patriots throw stones at me, let me explain my side.

i want this not because i'm turning my back against my own country nor because i am embrrassed of being a filipino. please understand that this is the fastest and easiest way to be with the person i love the most every day of the year --physically. this issue of citizenship and nationality have kept us physically apart for three weeks now and frankly, i do not know how much more i can take without him by my side. i am going crazy.

acquiring an american citizenship doesn't make me less of a filipino. i would be no one but a 'little brown American' with a strange accent. my filipino ethnicity remains just as my heart and my pride will always be that of a filipino, to and for the filipinos.

becoming an american national does not make me better than anyone else either. if at all, it will only make me happier and more at peace because if it happens, then there will be no more tonights like this when i can write the saddest lines (with aplogies to the great pablo neruda).